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summer
November 2009 
Profound Shifts in Me-ness
michele
The most interesting part of playing the "game of God" (Source, Eternal, Nature... pick your poison) is the difference in the sameness. Or is that the sameness in the difference? It's so hard to pinpoint and explain these little checkpoints and enormous land mines that often it's just easier to be silent.
That makes me laugh, 'cause isn't that the whole point, the entire cosmic, universal point? We are the silence.
In our book club book, which happens to be one recommended by Gaia, Living Deeply... the authors guide people in the art of "noticing". Where we normally progress along a path, so many of us are so busy that we don't even "notice God" along the way. Yet, in so many ways, there is nothing but God to notice. Wild!
I think it's the open eyes that lead the way... but then it's the way that leads to open eyes... so everyone can feel like they're lost down a rabbit hole of conundrum!
As we stay the same, the internal processing, the invisible part, shifts and changes and becomes so very different that we may not recognize ourselves. Truth be told, there may be no self to recognize. It's something to think about. Or maybe it's something to not think about : )
Appreciate where you are. In your striving, stop. Just appreciate exactly this moment, where you are, and where you've been. Notice it for the patience. Notice it for the survival. Notice it for the glory that it is!
Access: Public
Amazing you should say this because I've been dealing with the frustration of the sameness of my meditation. It's actually so monotonous that I'm getting a headache concentrating on it! Or - I have a headache and the meditation doesn't help it or maybe even makes it a little more intense. I'm not sure what the cause and effect are there. What it reminds me of is your tree house! Please don't tell me I'm visiting that because it didn't sound very cool when you were describing it. D2 sent an email about the blogs and what it made me realize is that I should stay in this conversation even when I don't feel particularly “spiritual.” In fact, that's probably the best time for me - can I be weak? NO! hehehe
Well, heck, get out of my damn treehouse and climb will ya… oh ya, no limbs… hmmm, you'll have to shimmy up!
Well, in all honesty, I could sit here and list the growth elements of your week (not of your weak). But I empathize with spaces of seeming settling! Meditation can be horrifyingly bland after huge buzzes of amazement. But I'd call that normal! That's why we should appreciate the buzzes, ha ha ha. (We're supposed to appreciate the spaces between too.)
Maybe a shift in meditation practice? It's ok to get some guided tapes, or read some guided dealies, or meditate to music or meditate standing on your head with a cat on your feet… just something to mix it up. Active meditation is awesome too, like walking and noticing the intricacies of nature, or driivng and listing all of the things you are thankful for.
In reality, I know I'm not helping in the slightest. Feeling stagant is frustrating. Just try to look for the “God” in your life… and it will move along faster than you believe.
Being stagnant has its grand purposes as well. :)
Hmmm. I think stagnation is an illusion. We are in constant flux. I was going to say growth, but I think people rise and fall. I think we are always either moving toward our potential or away from it, toward our Godself or away, toward destiny or avoiding destiny, shaping existence or cowering to others doing it for us. I guess I don't really believe in “holding still”. : )
Damnit, woman! Another friggin' book I shall NOW have to add to my ever growing list of need reads. Thanx a bucn!! Actually..i really Do mean that thanx, michele. It's this state of silence becoming my preferred place, where there is no real thought process, just being..part of everything…and absorbing that into one's soul. Perhaps even letting it come out of my OWN soul, to intertwine with everything else about GOD that's just been waiting patiently for this dumb ass to get his mess together enough to go there. Y'think? Yet another very cool blog by miss michele, extraordinarie….
Lay it on the line… have you been seeing the constellations in close proximity recently? Have you had a universal pull draggin' ya across space and time, ending you in a total lack of self? If not, it is to come! : ) I hear it in your intentions and your way. Hee hee hee.
huh???? where IS that damn switch for this light bulb thingy above my head hereanyway??/a tota llack of self???? You mean i'll just dissappear & all??? What DID i sign up for on this site?
explain yourself here, woman…
please.
Before we tell you where the light switch is, we need to know if you intend to turn it on or off. hehehe
Besides, once M gets you, even a light bulb won't help. She'll drag you kicking and screaming through the universe right along with her.
M, my meditation last night was finally different and no headache. Life goes on.
so what was the question again?
i think i just need to replace that burnt out bulb
again.
and one can't actually drag another if they are going in a parellel path
at perhaps the same speed….
Judy…..
Honestly, it's all in the perception. I suppose we are just webbed together so tightly that there is no moving without a shift of the web. And so, yep, we're all travelling together in the stream of God Consciousness… When we cross like this, we know that we're bound somehow, assisting one anohther. It all rocks, you know it does! : )
Judy…
I HOPE I hadn't offended you there with MY comments earlier.
I was being playful
NOT vindictive.
Rich - no worries. My comments were playful too. I was afraid I’d offended you. For me, M has been and is a magnet for me. I don’t mean to put my role onto others. But, for me, she pulls me out of myself and my focus on the loops around me. Helps me see a much bigger picutre. I keep telling her she’s re-parenting me, even though I’m older than she is. It all works for us though. Glad to see you participating in this blog. Thanks for your comments.
M - if we are just crossing, how come I spend so much time hitching a ride on your back? In fact, is it getting a little heavy? Need a break? That’s why you wanted to take a month off, huh? LOL
Not at all. We all take turns. We also support people who then support others, or are supported by others so we can be the support. It's a web! : ) You worry a lot about me, but you are never anything but a joy and a wonderful addition to my life!
When I spoke of stagnation, dear, i was using your words from your blog. :)
I used THAT word? Well, hmmmm. I'm a hypocrit you know? Actually, I'm not, but I change my mind so fast that it appears that I am one. I hate being stuck in the one branch tree, unable to climb, unable to get down. I won't even pretend that I don't hate that… but really, I do know it's pretend. I do know there is no holding still. I just DON'T like watching people slip out of their consciousness, 'cause it reminds me that I do it too! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak! : ) And it's all ok and perfect and entirely the action of God. How can we go wrong?
You are welcome to be anything you want to be. Hypocrit is fine. Changing your mind is fine. Some of my best moments have been hyprocritical. LOL
and here comes the DUCK brigade & their 2 cents into this: belief is just a perception, and it is ONLY momentary, ever-changing, just as we are. Yes, we AE all hypocrits, if we are to stay flowing as we need be to grow, to be used, to BE. And one of the HARDEST things in life that we ALL HAVE to master….UNlearning all the bullshit we've ALLOWED into our lives. You wanna believe in something worthwhile? Believe in YOUrself!!!
One day Chelsea and I made a list of “Things we want to do today”. It was quite a while ago, but it included - be me, cure cancer, invent a sport and be home by 7. It's actually a whole page, but we got pretty carried away. It was a lot of fun. I can't remember what we accomplished, but it was about thinking of the possibilities. I haven't seen it in forever and I just looked up from my monitor and - would you believe - it's tacked on the wall above the monitor. Strange what I see when I look. Believe in myself? That's so easy when the world reacts with belief. It is harder when I struggle through the muck wondering if I'm reading the right signs. It's so easy when I connect in meditation, when any number of things are in syncronisity. It gets more and more difficult when I'm disconnected and alone. Today, I feel connected. I still managed to miss my car appointment this morning - not the end of the world, but interesting. What a life is open to me today. I think I'll concentrate on the believing in myself for today. That sounds like good advice. Hopefully, practicing on days like this will help with the ones when the muck is sucking on my legs up to my knees. Have a GREAT day all. I'm off to beg the car people to have pity on my car and do their thing now instead of this morning. Bye!
I could have told you exactly where that list was! : ) Ha ha ha.
The believing in ourselves is a very good measure of our true consciousness, of our real connection with the Eternal. When we know and trust and emerge as a facet of the Divine, there is no question of our capabilities or value or self worth. The questions emerge in what to do with them, how to develop them, and how to unfold to the highest potential! I see you “glowing in the dark” Judy, so no question of YOUR connection, lol. : )
My last conversation last night was with you, M. When we talked abut the Matrix and the perception of this world as god's experiment and us as extensions of him to do with as he wants. I really got the connection of being god, there being no right or wrong, that the choice was made when I took on this form and decided to participate and that I don't have to worry about it. Also, that it is some type of play, the reason for which I am not currently aware of, but it doesn't matter. It's llike the Uglies and Pretties series the girls were reading - in the Specials, people were changed against their will and the rebels infiltrated the establishment by letting themselves get caughter and changed. Then the free rebels would forceably pulled the changed ones out and fix them (of what had been done to them) against their “current” will but consistent with their “prior” consent. I was thining of something similar last night - that I consented in my god self to this existence, even though I don't remember it now. That's my thought at 9:28 pm tonight. I could change when Chelsea gets out of the shower - who knows, but that was what I was thinking on and having fun with.
So you are the reason that M is still thinking about the Matrix. LOL
I cannot take responsiblity for M. That's just too much at this point in my life. Both of my arms hurt from juggling my family. What a paradox familly is for me. The good is SO good and the bad is SO awful. I know there is a stillness in the middle that I can just be there without being in there, but it is so hard for me to stop these loops. I'm off to meditate before my arms falls off. hehehe Good night all. I hope tomorrow is WONDERFUL for you all, as well as for me.
Wow…. Debby didn't say, “hey, are we related?” Interesting.
Judy's smart to disconnect herself from my brain's deluges.
I'm knee deep in Matrix thoughts… about a weeks worth I think! Just wait… very controversial thinking… it should be good for long blogversations. Stay tuned.
The “M” website where blogversations are changing the world……………… :)