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summer
November 2009 
Relationships, eeeek!
michele
This day kinda has a spiritual suckiness goin' on... I haven't checked the charts. Anyone know the astrology of today? Hee hee hee : ) We all survive... must be growing yet again. Always doing that. For that we can't complain.
Relationships have been an overall theme for a few days, and today it came up in the meditation book... in a well written reminder:
"Kindness and intelligence don't always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships. ~Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Relationships with other people are necessary to escape loneliness: however, relationships do not guarantee freedom from pain. Nurturing a meaningful relationship with another human being takes patience , even when we don't have any. It takes tolerance, even if we don't feel it. It takes selflessness, at those very moments our own ego is crying for attention.
Yet, we need relationships with others; they inspire us. We learn who we are and who we can become through relationships. They precipitate our accomplishments. Our creativity is encouraged by them, and so is our emotional and spiritual development..."
Ooo baby, kapow! Sometimes it's just easier to find the Ashram and hide out! I wish I had answers instead of questions. Few of the people I know aren't looking at these issues today. How do we balance our relationships? How do we get the truth of inner soul self across to those we love... have them understand that which cannot be understood? Sigh. So the human relationship puzzle gets more and more difficult as we evolve! How the heck is that "fair" (there's an ego question)?
And then, too, where is the line? Where do we halt the patience and selflessness in order to respect the inner self, the individual we were meant to express? That's really the only balance game worth playing. If we're dancin' in a loop, a pattern, a role... that just isn't living in the moment. Alas, just lists and lists of questions, questions without answers.
Access: Public
This reminds me of the old joke:
A man goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist asks him what is problem is, and the man says, “My brother thinks he’s a chicken”. The psychiatrist says “Well, why dont’ you talk to him about it”, and the man responds, “I would, but I need the eggs”.
‘coming to learn (the hard way, of course. what other way IS there for this richDUCK?) that in every relationship there lies purpose. we not only are there to experience what we need BE, but with the other as well. We are all of the same. We are all a part of this ALL. And it has come to my attention as of late that when we feel worthless, or not getting it, or lost, that it is in those exact moments that someone else is in needof BEing there for us, with us, to complete the equation. I BElieve that is why forgiveness & prayer are of such great value with us. it allows each of us to do without our own selves & focus on the needs of another, which is what we are here to experience anyway. That which we feel broken inside of our own selves, is not OURS to heal, to fix, to work the kinks out. That is GOD’S job, and done so thru others/another. We need one another to allow the flow to BE constant, to operate at it’s premier reason. We NEED relationships. We were not designed to BE any other way.
I have come across this of late. For the LONGEST time, i felt myself beter off, mmore at one with GOD when i got alone. Why is that? Because i can hear GOD better? Yeah, well….that was pure bullshit. It was for my own ego. For myself to have God all to myself. WTF is that? That isn’t relationship. That’s isolation. And it is not good for anyone. Yes, there IS a time where we DO need to get apart, to regroup, to BEcome balanced. But..what is THAT for? It is for the greater of ALL, not for our own selves. We all need one another, and ESPECIALLY those we dislike or do not agree with the most. It is GOD trying to teahc our stubborn ass, egotistical selves something.
‘Sorry, michele. i know i kinda got carried away here, on YOUR blog. My bad…once more.
I guess I could have forgone that long email I just sent you. :)
Today’s meditatio talked about love and anger being 2 sides of the same person. I don’t know how that fits, but it’s what came up when I read what you said M. What’s been coming up for me lately is that I need to be with the people I don’t like - it’s not much work to be with the ones I love. However, I myself have been VERY isolated these past 2 weeks, so I guess maybe your blog is a kick in the butt for what I should be doing about now. Of course, today I’m working for my ex-husband so maybe that entitles me to a little grace in the kick butt department. :)
Did you guys catch that Rich APOLOGIZED yet again, hee hee hee… I wish I could edit the responses sometimes… wouldn’t that be fun (and hilarious). This format is awesome, ‘cause there is such an unbelievable broadening of meaning and message by having all of the responses, and I just truly LOVE it! Love the long and the short replies.
So what would I say that can add to any or all of this? I think there is a time for “alone” and a time for physical relationships. I think there is balance, and a life without connection to the Source, no matter what method that takes (mathematics, prayer, hiking, meditation, whatever…) is a pointless life. Note that there’s some HUGE JUDGMENT in that statement that I might want to take back at some point, but right now, it seems true to my human self.
I think for the most part, for most of us, relationships with other people are required (or you wouldn’t find us in this circumstance, all wrapped into each other like this, duct (duck) taped together in a way)… and are definitely the pull to growth beyond our belief.
But hey, I also think Anastasia of the Ringing Cedars, I think she’d doing her darndest for our evolution in her lack of relationship with mankind, so there ya go!
Hey Judy, could you not like me today cause I am looking forward to spending some time with you tonight. :)
Hilarious!!! Luckily, time with people we love and that love us rejuvinates us in God’s glow of who we truly are! I know Judy will be more than willing… and I’m glad you reminded me, ‘cause I am soooo not being able to hold tonight in my mind and I might forget and that sorta makes me feel like a freak ina way. How couldI forget to go? Frightening.
I think the game is set up for relationship. One was god, with total knowing, now one is a piece of god. The idea is to interact with other pieces. Otherwise one is simply being god on a smaller scale. We made this game to escape that.
Below is my opinion based on www.themodeloftheuniverse.com
Each piece of godhas a viewpoint. That is simply the place from where we each view this universe.Over time we haveattached different ideas and opinions to this viewpoint and that seems to be the difference between us. But the real difference is simply different viewpoint. People who are comfortable with each other tend to stay in their viewpoint. Expanding viewpoint by truly understanding other viewpoints is spiritual growth. If you talked deeplywith those you love you’d find plenty of differences and if you talk with those you are not comfortable with you’d find plenty of agreement. But understanding the other viewpoint no matter what it is,grows one.Every viewpoint appears to be relevant and of the same value in understanding. Willingness to truly give and receiveon both sides determinesthe level of the game.
I was told to pay attention to betrayals because that is an opportunity to learn to see the other’s point of view and to learn forgiveness. That middle step is unique for me. Generally, I think I’ve just accepted their right to differ, rather than paying much attention to where they stand. So, maybe the deal is to learn from the disagreement. I don’t know. Today I seem to be seeing disagreement all over the place - so, yeah Debby, I think I’m getting it out before tonight. BTW - thanks for reminding me. It was completely out of my mind - nice to know I am emulating you so well M. I will be seeing you ladies tonight. Anyway want to car pool?
Kevin, Kevin… are you venturing up/out/over to the Grove tonight? : )…Just reinviting you. Judy, yes, we’re carpooling (unless a swarm of teens decides to go)… and perhaps you’re cooking the fish tonight, ha ha ha.
And in all seriousness to the watchers of our plights, first, read Kevin’s site, and his blogs… ‘cause there’s one perspective more to consider in the universe, even if it doesn’t correlate with your own! Second,talk to your friends! If you don’t know where you are alike and different, where you agree and agree to disagree, how do you even “love” each other? Get on it! Third, open to your potential… in that path, there will be people, and in those people, varying perspectives to appreciate, “hate”, and then love so completely that you will GROW in godself!!! No better unfolding : )
It seems odd but there likely are no betrayals, really. You could make a case that each of us betrays everyone in the universe every second. But what appears to be true is there is never anything to forgive. Every one of us is always right. What we are doing through spiritual growth is finding that rightness in others and ourself. To expect that now of ourselves would be quite unrealistic, of course. Because we would be wrong, and that cannot be. See why people think this stuff is complicated? The truths are very simple. Living them, not so easy!
I can’t make it tonight. I’m having belated Christmas dinner with my daughter, put off by the snow. If you have not seen the lights at the Bellevue Botanical Gardens (and you like Christmas lights) it is worth the effort, by the way. They have something like half a million lights made up like blooming plants. It is spectacular.
I personally believe that perhaps human relationships gets more diffcult and puzzled as we grow up because we begin to realize that we have more options to consider and more things that we want. Which ulimtately leads us to not knowing what we want, stumbling because of the abudance of options perhaps. But I think it could be simplified if we simply be honest with ourselves and others. If we dig down deep inside and question what it is that we truly want and why we want it. And the unabashfully tell the other the complete honest truth, not just some version of the truth that you’ve fabricated to allow them to feel better. But the ultimate truth. I guess I personally believe that if we claim to truly care about someone, the least we can do is to offer them the truth and for them to make the choice for themselves.
And as for the balance between self, individual desires, and patience and selflessness towards the other. I believe that if you’re truly meant to be with the other person. Than yours and their path of happiness would converge. Both individual’s path towards happiness should be parallel with the other and not pependicular. They should accept you for who you are, the good, the bad, they ugly, and sometimes crazy. And that’s the end of all my psychobabbling, hopefully providings some insights to all your questions.
Beautifully said! I wish it were easier in practice, but your words ring true.
I don’t think the betrayls have anythng (or much) to do with the supposed object of the behavior. I believe it is a manifestation I create because I need to lesson. But, that’s just my point of view on it. When I play at being human, I pretty much control what occurs for me in the human world.
Agreed as to the above. I don’t know what you mean by playing human, though.
I’m hit with the “simulation game” scenario… What if “self” is the only one in existence? What if everything else is a simulation created to amass originality, challenge, and growth? What if when you are angry, or hurt another, or are careless, etc… what if the one who is damaged is actually self? What if “when you put the game down”, the scars and the kindnesses were shown in your own flesh? What if?
“Playing at being human” It’s a phrase I adopted. Some times I operate at one level (a more comfortable level where I feel my place in the universe) but sometimes I get real young or real HUMAN and I loose all the “stuff” I’ve acquired to keep out of other people’s loops, their drama, my stories about their actions. When I’m in that latter state, I call it (or a friend calls it and I’ve chosen to do so too) being human, as opposed to acting more a part of the universe. M can probably clarify better, but that’s how I use it.