Wow!  If anyone can have reason for gratitude, I can.  Amazing, amazing, amazing world.  And, although I may not be firmly planted upon this ground, may not be firmly committed to leaning toward earthly "being", there are days like today that make it so appealing I can imagine nothing better!

We spent a handful of days at an Ocean side rental.  It was peaceful and wet and perfect.  I laughed and laughed at the chaos and creativity of five teens, smiled as rubber bands filled the skies, shot from wooden guns... shook my head at the bubble sculpting in the hot tub... ventured out on recon when two had spent  more hours than seemed wise in the pouring rain and driving wind... collecting them in their happiness and the dogs near hypothermia.  I enjoyed listening to the words of a CD set that many had begged me to consume... drew pastel creations on construction paper for the shear act of doing it.  I walked the beach, watched the crashing of the stormy waves, listened to the sea and the rain and the winds.

The ocean, like the desert, is Life... the beauty, the power, the love.  Through the ebb and flow of all moments, there is a consistency that is hard to deny.

And now, the world swings back into a "normal" phase for me.  I am "home".  The stars are bright and the sky clear beyond the horizon.  Half moon, half life...  And what a beautiful and perfect day it has been.  So much to smile about, so much to have gratitude and love for!  I stood on the top of Queen Anne Hill, looking over the horizon of the Seattle skyline just as the sun finally left the sky.  Love is all we need! 

And, since "some people" like a food reference hither and nye, the guacamole at Chipotle's was the best!  So, I enter the 44th year of my life, thankful for the people who make it rock, who challenge it, who create the love that unfolds as God all around me.  Mark this day as perfection.  They all are.  This one was just obvious to the "mind"!  Whether in the skin or out, the guacamole is the unfolding of a miracle!  Onions optional.

(Thanks All!   You guys rock!  For those of you who are being patient, and will see me tomorrow or over the week, I appreciate that immensely too!)

I want to think bunnies and chickies and ducks, oh my... but my heart is elsewhere. I am so drawn to the realities of the Easter story, of the transformation of Jesus Christ, of the transformation of those before and after him.

The other day, something in a worksheet we were reading made Judy and I laugh inappropriately (inappropriately in that we were sitting in a class, and it wasn't meant to be funny).  "God does not want us to suffer."  Is the quote true?  I'd say the answer is ambiguous at best.

I would say that the Eternal Mystery knows full well what it takes to recognize and step into the realm of Infinity...  and in the human interpretation, anyone barking up this tree suffers greatly, impressively, vastly, horrendously. 

Jesus didn't only suffer on the cross.  In fact, it's entirely possible that the Sanskrit interpretation of the line we read as "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me", is more sensibly "My God, my God, oh how you have exhaulted me!".  I like that better anyway!  Perhaps Jesus was far past suffering at the point of his death.

Life is a series of lessons.  Each of us is growing and suffering, until we recognize and incorporate the Truth.  When we actually let go, when we actually stop filtering life through the human ego, the word suffering has a meaning that is no longer perceivable.  We become the moment.  We see ourselves for the Infinite Glory that we truly are. 

My Easter wish is that each of us has that opportunity!  Soon!

I was watching the world yesterday.  Imagine that.  When I ventured into the city for errands, what was totally mezmerizing were the cherry blossoms.  Everywhere.  White and pink, the trees like grounded clouds.

The wind was blowing, and the petals drifted and swayed on the current, individual and strategic... or perhaps rather, at the whim of that "Something" that is strategic.  I thought to myself about the petals, how they had been adhered to the branch, and then let loose into the freedom of grace.

Interestingly, Eric and I attended a workshop at the Grove, and a woman read a poem that had the same internal thought about leaves in the fall, about their lack of worry when they finally let go, their faith in the Eternal to carry them to destiny (which is rotting on the ground, but we don't have to digress from the imagery!)

Serious synchronicity!  There is nothing wrong with holding to the tree, because the tree is the wind... and the wind the tree.  But, I think that the intentional "I won't let go no matter what, you can't make me" attitude fails to recognize this.  From whence we came, to whence we go... it's all the same... all in the hands of permanence and perfection. 

But it's the moment on the wind that counts... the moment we are "in" that means anything and everything...

Die Hard with a Vengeance? : )  Kinda.  I'm still hangin' out with St. Iggy (Ignatius) and his Spiritual Exercises 313-336.  Sounds kinda boring when I type it that way... but we were talking serious temptation, right?  The very reason for the word sin??? (I left sin behind a long time ago... but I'm really understanding the "spiritual" connotation NOW!  It's not what you used to think!)

So you're trekkin' along at a decent clip on this spiritual path thing, and wham... the rug gets pulled out from underneath.  If your Saint Theresa, hey, could last forty years give or take (omg, not manifesting that for myself!!!).  Stuff disappears, realization disappears, spiritual gifts disappear, darkness gets pretty close at hand...  there is NO consolation to balance the desolation.  No matter where you turn, there is no longer evidence of this "great discovery" you came across in your life.  DESOLATION baby, you found it...  sucks, but that's the deal.

I likened it to the forty days in the desert!  It's where temptation jumps up like a wild bible snake : )  You gotta love it when I refer to the Bible, not my norm.  Ignatius wanted to warn us all that we should continue our right path, our actions, just as if we were in those moments of joyous connection to our Source.  He wanted to warn us to stay steady, even as the ship rocks. 

I'll go backward forward, 'cause my favorites are last (and I may lose my inertia to write on this, who knows)...  "The Fourteenth Rule.  Likewise, he behaves as a chief bent in conquering and robbing what he desires: for, as captain and chief of the army, pitching his camp, and looking at the forces or defenses of a stronghold, attacks on the weakest side, in like manner the enemy of human nature, roaming about, looks in turn at our virtues, theological, cardinal, and moral; and where he finds us weakest and most in need for our eternal salvation, there he attacks us and aims at taking us."  Hot dog!

Did you catch that?  Ok, so, I don't know if I have a single theological or cardinal virtue.  I probably do... but who knows.  So let's just take a second to glance over this desolation thing.  Say I'm hanging out with my godself, petting the cat, and I get this warm, tingling Kundalini sensation (oops, mixing spiritual metaphors... you'll have to live with it!).  So then, a dark day comes, and I not only hate the damn cat for scratching the furniture and using the litterbox, but I also no longer have the tingly thing running over my skin and down my spine. 

What do you think?  Should I throw the cat out into the rain?  Never let it in again?  Or should I continue to sit there and pet it "as if" the consolation experience was still in place?  Hee hee hee.  This is a lame example, but you get it, don't you?  Real life examples are not HALF as easy or at all amusing!  They are desert tests, baby!  Break out the water bottles, you're gonna need 'em for the scorching hot road!!!  If cats are your weakness, hey, I've got your back with this story... but few of us get off that easy!  Wherever you are weakest, the old loops will grab you, even as you watch the desert heat up for the burn! 

Aloe vera anyone?

Hold the path.  Tolerate the heat.  The oasis is over the next dune (or maybe the second, hmmmm, maybe the third...).