Soul Connections

I haven't run into truly valid information about this... nothing that works for me.  The more I notice higher connection, the more puzzling the whole endeavor becomes to my human self.  Are there any good books on this, anything?  Most of the junk I run into does this sweet and light fairy dance about twin flames or whatnot... like perfection is found in a "soul" mate.  Ya, whatever.  The only "soul mate" that truly exists is the bond between lover and beloved, between the One and the All, between God and self.  But, hey, we're here on the planet, so we may as well play! 

I'm actually talkin' about this:  I decide to face my demons, and I drag Judy kicking and screaming into facing hers.  How is that fair?  It's particularly bizarre in that, I knew by removing myself from those that have this sorta Eternal bond thing, that I would be slamming them into walls as I worked to break down my own.  It went wider than I would have guessed, challenged more people than I thought about ahead of time.  Who would know?  So in working to "grow" myself, I grew a garden, hee hee hee.  (Sorry guys, I know growing hurts.  I do "apologize" to ya all... in that, I had to do it... and I know you didn't all want to come along for the ride.  Eric definitely didn't, so, thanks so much for enduring there!)

How is it that there can be higher connection?  I aspire and live in the concept of Oneness.  We are all One.  So what is this Kundalini energy connective thing that I have with some people?  Or what is it about others that I've had deep, perspective connections with the Eternal in being in their presence?  Why?  Why is it different by "who"?  It just makes no sense whatsoever.

Inquiring minds wish to know.  I could just surrender to it being an Eternal Mystery, that never ending excuse of everything these days.  I just don't want to.  Control.  Yep.  : )